Top 8 for the 25th of October, 2012Ashes to AshesSomeone’s ashes were left behind…at a car wash Finally a cure…for the Gay DemonsAbby thinks this is the funniest thing ever.
Can’t remember faces?Maybe its clinical then…like these sisters Man sues wifeFor being ugly. And wins ! High School lacrosse coach accused of having sex with playersIt’s girl on girl, so that’s alright, right Debate teamThis is how things are settled in high school now between teachers and students Fighting back..The TSA is tired of your verbal complaints and are fighting back Too soon?Regrettable choice of Halloween decoration at Retirement home Top 8 links for October 18th, 2012Nice kidA high school senior banged his substitute teacher then posted pics on twitter. What could go wrongProstitute had sex with clients and posted dozens of videos. Some people were busted! Right to desert!Couple had sex at a restaurant table. In front of children She’s alive!As doctors prepared to declare her brain dead and collect her organs, she wakes up Sword fightCops taser man with sword. Except sword turned out to be stick. His walking stick Eye see itHalloween themed deviled eggs. awesome Oh DoctorHow do you greet the nurse and doctor when entering the ER with a gunshot wound ? By punching them in the face, of course. Nut jobTeacher bullies teen girl with severe nut allergy by insisting on burning nut-scented candle Top 8 stories for October 17th, 2012Where to start?Siblings arrested for trying to steal tv in bathroom of bar, claim they were having sex What was the tip?Upscale restaurant has owner shooting at customer over the bill No returnsSperm donating website claims to have many A-list celebrities in their stock Huge EndeavorSpace shuttle endeavor made its way around LA in a parade recently. It travelled two miles per hour. Here’s a cool time lapse of its journey Sweet JesusWoman blogger followed the bibles rules to a tee for 1 year. She lives to tell about it Silver bulletFather stabs son over last beer . Enough said. Low toleranceBar gets 2 year old drunk on Whiskey . They never realized he wanted vodka. AwkwardMan gets marijuana plant stolen, so he calls cops and they retrieve it and give it back IntegrityYouth football or hockey should definitely be ALL about the parents fighting the refs Their revengeMonkey bars have been around for a 100 years. It appears they are out for vengeance Traffic suckedHow do you get out of work ? Head’s upPerson lights hair on fire. Results aren’t good Eye BallMysterious eye washed ashore Bad phone planWoman racks up 1 trillion dollars Bill Elephants okay!Because it involves Elephants, I trust you click the link Sexy.comSci-fi speed dating Top 10 Headlines for Monday October 15th, 2012
Facebook Faux-pasWoman arrested for outing undercover police officer on facebook . The Drug ring he was infiltrating no doubt ‘liked’ this. Poutine!In case you were looking for a Poutine eating contest to join. Cause hot dog eating contests are so yesterday. Guess who?Guess which fast food chain has a slogan “only a fruitcake wouldn’t love our party trays”? Three guesses BromanceThis is adorable. And incredibly dangerous. But mostly adorable. Gay Milk?A Russian anti-gay group claims milk company promoting homosexuality to children .These guys and the republicans would get along just fine! True Love. True pedophilia love30 years later, man and student remain happily married. Their story . Dumb marketingFree tip: don’t hire this company to advertise and market your company. No Precedence hereThis might be the most bizarre lawsuit ever . Costume punsAt buzzfeed, the best Halloween Pun costumes Area 51 no-noFilm crew held at gunpoint and detained for going too deep at Area 51 Top 10 headlines of Friday October 12, 2012Zombies are comingEvidently Oregon is where they can be found Sperm shortage in ChinaThe sperm black market is thriving in China. Even through sexual intercourse. intercourse More than you bargained forItalian police bust transsexual prostitution ring High School HighHigh school kids sent home after ingesting cookies filled with marijuana. Parents warned to have plenty of chips on hand. Ninja attacks criminal.Except the Ninja is the criminal. And he's not really a ninja. ninja. God appears in Supermarket lotThen pulls a gun on employee. And he's naked. Okay, he's probably NOT god. Apology accepted?High school freshman stands up in front of class and apologizes...then shoots himself with a gun. GuiltyMan wears extremely insensitive t-shirt at DUI trial...in which he killed a cyclist. Not adding upDays after starting his degree in Math, students dies after drinking bottle of rum in 15 minutes. Halloween funGreat costume ideas for pregnant woman. You know, just don't drink at the party... October 11th, 2012It REALLY is Always SunnyIts always Sunny in Philadelphia premieres tonight. It’s a brand new cast. You won't believe your eyes. Those mini bombs?Traveler says he was intentionally slapped in the testicles during TSA pat down. Duh!Judge releases man to allow him to run errands before he goes to jail. Guess what happened. Bad AssNerds at SMU went all cray cray and put a Nintendo Zapper on one of their posters. It turned ugly . Well, as ugly as it gets when nerdy gamers are involved. Hey BraHigh school dance turns into a puddle of bras. Yes, this is what high school students are doing at dances now Celebrate!Dummy highjacks a car, then does donuts as a celebration. Later crashes. FabulousToday is National Coming out Day. Here’s a brief history on this. Less than fabulous
Speaking of closets, this guy’s girlfriend thinks he’s
Paul Ryan was probably a little disappointed when he learned tonight’s VP debate wasn’t going to take place in the Octagon
Man, who was probably on drugs, gets into an altercation with a stop sign.
October 10th, 2012Winning…and then REALLY losingMan wins cockroach-eating contest. Then dies from it
Eagle versus Crocodile.No, not an NCCA game, but an actual eagle snatching a crocodile KaboomThat’s the person’s name and what he wrote on his walking stick. He left it behind…and it created a bomb scare Terrorist threatWoman dying of leukemia gets the full security pat down at Seattle airport meow meowFirefighters find kitten in car engine Druggie interrupts churchPriest not willing to declare man the devil Keep selling baby!Even after woman faints on live tv, co-host keeps shilling product. Mcmeals10 best meals at Mcdonalds that are not available in North AmericaUnfairHeavy-set people complain that Disney costumes of heavy-set characters are for skinny people Nun too smartWoman dressed as nun steals beer from store
He’s single ladies!Man collects and shows off his 600 cabbage patch kids collection Tuesday October 9thEmu stops trafficUse THAT excuse next time you’re late for work. v Good news, bad newsThe bad news: NBC postpones Community. The good news: they also postpone Whitney
OuchMan sues strip club after stripper ruptured his bladder . In some places, that costs extra.
Cop wants free food!Cop demands free food from Mcdonalds .Except he’s not a cop MonsterJerry Sandusky maintains his innocence. His seat in hell being kept very warm immigants, always the immigantsIllegal immigrant actor nabbed by immigration officials on his way to see his own film about immigration Oktoberfest drunksIn non-news, lots of drunks at this year’s Oktoberfest Gotta fit it inMan suspended after trying to improvise when unable to put 800-pound dead body in incinerator Heaven’s GatesMan spends 7 days in heaven and lives to tell about it. Not sexyMan arrested for having sex while driving. Would be funny if he didn’t kill passengers in the car he hit Crunk parentingParents in England think drinking helps their parenting skills . Children probably don’t agree. Happy Happy PiggiesEvidently happy pigs make better bacon . Huh? Pot LuckThis elderly couple grew pot. Without knowing it Friday, October 5th headlinesStrip Club banned from strippingFor legal and technical reasons, the girls at this strip club can’t take their clothes off Hulkamania!Details on the latest Hulk Hogan sex tape . SFW, more or less. Horse raceMan arrested for having sex with a horse…again . Must be true love Do’h nutBest story of the day. Police find stolen donut while searching this man. Then claim donut was not recoverable Office spaceDid you know that the bullied television anchor who responded vehemently to a viewer email is the sister of actor Ron Livingston? Now you do Very bad dayMan has a very, very bad day . Not surprisingly, alcohol was involved. Calling Homer SimpsonThese guys have been banned from an All-you-can-eat joint. Does this sound like men who had ALL they could Man has a very, very bad eat?? The cabs are hereJersey Shore premiered last night. shudder LikeSimply put: the 15 dumbest facebook updates ever Thursday October 4th, 2012Spidey sensesCustom officials find 200 tarantulas in suitcase On a flight. Gross. Nobody noticed the smell?Police find 1500 marijuana plants…in the heart of Chicago Butt chugger denies butt chugging.The students who buttchugged wine at the U of Tennessee deny butt chugging. Yesterday they had a press conference. This is MUST see tv. You call that a knife?Man pulls out a machete and attacks cop. At the police station Batman bustedBatman tried to help the police in Michigan. They arrested him. Dang coppers Paging Benny HillThese two dummies attempted to Rob a furniture store. But they forgot to close the van’s door.
FrighteningAbby loves Halloween and it’s never too early to start shopping for costumes. Here are this year’s scariest, weirdest and sluttiest costumes available
What a Dope!New Orleans Attorney drops joint in court . dang STREAKER ALERTThis woman is evidently drunk enough to streak topless at a kid’s soccer game. Probably NSFW, but who cares!
Miggy’s triple crown!Miguel Cabrera won MLB’s Triple Crown for the first time in 45 years. impressive Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012Busted…and then some!This nice, quiet, New York couple were arrested for possession of guns, drugs and an alligator? Butt chugging is a thingStudents in Tennessee like to consume alcohol…from their rectums We’re number 1!October’s Playboy issue ranks America’s top party schools. Number 1? The university of Virginia. No mention of butt chugging though. What about acting lessons?In an interesting PR move, Goodyear has offered Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes driving lessons . Huh. AmazingThis news reporter responds to an email calling her obese.
Sounds like my wifeFemale snakes give birth …without the help of male snakes.
Whopper of a hitMan attacks wife with a sandwich |
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Tuesday, October 2nd
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Damage ControlScientist in Scotland believe they have found a new way to fight climate change . And it doesn’t involve potatoes. I’ll be baaaahhckEvidently Arnold and Jim Cameron disagreed over the most famous line of the Terminator franchise. Jim won.
Something fishyMan catches 427lbs yellowfin tuna. He stands to make 1 million dollars from it. Hmm…where’s Abby’s fishing rod?
No wonder she’s singleAs if this article wasn’t bad enough, the picture may be the scariest part Psych!This is my mom…she also used to be my father . Should you cancel your other appointments doctor? Cause we’re going to be here a while.
Oh DeerA deer carcass was found in a Chinese restaurant in Kentucky. Evidently this is a problem
Oh Deer Part 2This guy was okay. That’s all we have to say about this. Well, other than this is AWESOME!
That’s a hitPlayer to have at-bat in the majors tonight…7 years after his only plate appearance in the bigs |
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Monday, October 1st, 2012We barely knew yeDon’t get attached to these brands. They are likely gone in 2013
Nap TimeAbby loves two things: napping and looking stupid doing it. Hence, the perfect solution: the Ostrich Pillow! Better than working at McDonaldsThis coach paid his players to hurt opponents. And now he’s suspended …Waiting for a call from the New Orleans Saints.
You’ve cat to be kitten meowCat survives full cycle in washing machine . Yup. That’s Bull!Police mistake a pitbull for robber…and shoot it dead The Cat’s MeowRemember the meow game? Atlanta Falcon’s Thomas Decoud plays it live on Sportscenter! Sheer brilliance.
Man on a missionTaylor Kitsch is singlehandedly trying to bring Hollywood down. And he’s off to a pretty good start Pumpkin alertAmericans really need to be the biggest at everything. Here, Massachusetts fair claim this is heaviest pumpkin in the world. TLC looking to give it its own reality show
Landing on your feetThis truck driver swerves, spins, gets tossed out the window and…lands on his feet. Ridiculous.
Abby's going on Vacation...but Abby will be back in a week!Dirty thirtyThe emoticon turns 30 . ☹
NHL lockout day 5Abby doesn’t agree with this article . But if you do, well so be it!
Teenage WastelandEvidently tasers don’t harm teenagers . So Abby says keep tasin' them kids! (Abby doesn’t like teens, they scare Abby)
DingThis is a great act of kindness . Just glad he was wearing pants. September 19, 2012 fun linksFamily reunionAnd you thought kissing your cousin was bad! At least she saves on christmas gifts. OY!
Lohan arrested...againOne more arrest and Lindsay Lohan gets a free sandwhich! Though she's driving Abby up the wall! Abby likes that joke.
Jesus Christ!Evidently our boy Jesus had a wife
NHL Lockout Day 4: How can Bettman sleep at night?The Florida Panthers cleaned house including firing their mascot
Money making METHodThis teacher likes Breaking Bad so much, he mimicked the show. Thank god he doesn’t watch Dexter
Dead GiveawayIf asked who’s a sex offender in a line-up, Abby would be able to identify this man . His choice to attire helps.
Sure, but what about his healthcare plan?Cat runs for Mayor of Halifax. We repeat: CAT RUNS FOR MAYOR IN HALIFAX
Hopefully he’ll have better luck then…British politicians sure are cutthroat
now THESE folks are corporate shills!Think you regret some of your tattoos ? Ask the girl with the goldenpalace.com stamped on her forehead. September 18, 2012 headlines.Yunel Escobar thinks you’re gay. Or he is maybeYunel Escobar used to be a popular member of the Toronto Bluejays. Then over the weekend he had a homophobic slur written in his eye black. Not smart. The team is looking into the matter
Let’s go streakingAberdeen will ALWAYS post videos of streakers at sporting events. Here’s one from this weekend
NHL lockout Day 3The nhl enters day 3 of their lockout. This interesting article suggests we look elsewhere for our sports entertainment. Nice, but…yeah we’ll continue bitching and moaning about the lockout, thank you very much.
Real life Ricky BobbyExpect to see this baby in NASCAR in 2032. Can’t confirm whether couple rushing to have baby born on Super Bowl Sunday in 2013.
Let’s take a pollSurely they knew this wasn’t a good idea , right?
Being overweight has its advantageThis guy claims he’s too fat to be put to death. Will probably die of a heart disease soon enough, says judge.
Finally….someone admits to time travelingThis is Abby’s favorite story of the day. Seems like someone has watched Fringe too many times.
LOH lightAberdeen has a roommate who watches more tv than Aberdeen does. So Abby was forced to watch Dina Lohan on Dr. Phil. Thank god you didn’t. but read this article and watch the videoSeptember 17, 2012 headlinesHANDSHAKE GATESan Fran vs Detroit. How else should handshake gate end? With a handshake of course. Kind of like watergate ended with...water.
Not part of the playbookThe Hamilton Tiger-cats have good coaching…who are also vigilante crime fighters
NHL Lockout Day 2A message from the players for the fans here nice idea, but Abby doesn’t like the cuts and edits. Not seen in the edits are the players chuckling between takes as they try to sound impassioned. Kind of reminds me of this
This is your legacySpeaking of the NHL lockout, Aberdeen has many hobbies. Clearly the ‘creator’ of this video needs one.
Paging Tim DonaghyNFL Replacement refs have to go! Why? This ref is a New Orleans fan
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